Mid-Life Unfolds

Life Unfolds - Dedicated to "Attracting What's Next in Mid-Life and Beyond!" Have you reached mid-life or beyond and are you wondering what is next? Life Unfolds provides business and personal coaching and training to help you thrive while answering the what nexts. We specialize in helping mid-lifers achieve their dreams, change careers, retire happily and to thrive through transitions. More information can be found at http://www.lifeunfolds.com.



Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Big Dreams and Baby Steps

Do you have a really big dream? Something so big, so exciting that you're not sure how you can possibly have it especially considering where you are now? In my coaching and workshops, one of my primary tenets is that if you're going to dream and go to all the trouble of attracting what you most want, make it something big, something better than you've ever thought of before. One of my students, a beautiful artist, said her dream was to make $1,000 a month with her art. I asked, “why not $10,000 or $100,000 a month?” She was challenged to examine why her dreams are limited and to stretch herself for something bigger.

Dreaming big can be exciting and also paralyzing. I teach the principles of attraction to attain your goals and dreams. As part of this, you let go of the how and allow the Universe to work on your behalf. In an ideal world or for someone who has practiced this for a while and knows it works, you don't have to take any action except what the Universe tells you to do. You will know through intuition or signs or synchronicities what actions to take. This is called inspired action. But for many of us still in the practicing stages and who are working up our confidence in how this works, we still feel the need to take action in our daily lives on our own while waiting for these cues.

This is where the baby steps come in. When you feel confused or paralyzed, unable to move forward, taking baby steps can get you back on track. Even in my attraction workshops, I encourage baby steps to build up your confidence that the attraction principles are real and always work. Some of us have a hard time believing that the Universe or God will truly look out for us and that it responds to our desires (as expressed through our emotional vibration and thoughts). If you start practicing with the biggest dream you have and it takes longer than you expect or doesn't come the way you expect, you may lose interest or belief in the process. So until we get that confidence that will allow us to have what we desire through informed action, we take our usual action steps.

If you can't see how to get to your goal or you see it but it seems too far away or too big or too scary or you are overwhelmed, small steps can get you unstuck and moving again. So no matter how big the dream, you can start with the smallest of actions. If your dream was to write a book, even planning to write a chapter a month might be too overwhelming. Start smaller with daily actions such as "write two paragraphs describing what the book is about" on day 1, "research market saturation of this type of book via the Internet" on day 2, "create title" on day 3, and so on. Put these planned small actions on your calendar, even very small actions. Engage the support of friends or a coach who will encourage you and hold you accountable.

Small baby steps give you powerful leverage in achieving your dreams. They will give you confidence and momentum, both of which will get you unstuck and propel you forward. So get out there and dream big, bigger, biggest! You can achieve anything you can dream of.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Mastering Money: What Do You Believe About Money?

What do you believe about money? Do you believe it grows on trees? Or doesn’t? Do you believe that money is security or money makes the world go ‘round? Do you believe you have enough or can never have enough? Are you rich or poor? How you answer these questions about money gives you an accurate representation of your money world. It doesn’t mean your answers are the truth, just your truth at this time. Changing what you believe about money can transform how money materializes in your life. Transforming your beliefs can change your thoughts and feelings. New thoughts and feelings will change your actions. New actions that are informed by your thoughts, feelings and beliefs change the results. Performing this process can provide you with peace and ease with money and your sense of prosperity. It can also transform many other areas of your life in almost miraculous ways.
I've found in working with clients and workshop attendees that some beliefs change quickly and easily. Often just noticing and briefly examining your belief will modify or eliminate it. Other beliefs are more entrenched and take more time. Performing the exercise below will help with these ideas. After doing the exercise, you will start to notice when the belief shows up and how it affects you. This is where change begins, by noticing and examining the thoughts and feelings associated with the belief.
EXERCISE: Listed below are statements of belief about money. Check or circle all of those that you believe are true or mostly true. Add some of your own beliefs to the list if you think of some that were not included.
Option 1: With your list in hand, engage with a trusted partner. Ask the partner to play devil’s advocate and dissuade you from your position of belief in that statement. Obviously, this is not arguing with anger, more like a gentle debate; no shame, no blame and no defensiveness.
Let’s take the statement, “Money is security” as an example. You say, “I must have money to feel secure. Money makes me feel safe.” Partner says, “If you were walking down the middle of a downtown street at 3 am with a million dollars, would you still feel safe? Or would you feel more in danger?” You say, but that’s not the kind of security I mean, not physical safety. Emotional safety, you know, security.” Partner says, “Even if you were fabulously wealthy, your spouse could leave you, you could become seriously ill or die, you could lose it all in a stock market crash or bank failure, etc. Your home could be destroyed by a tornado and you could lose your pets and family pictures. So you don’t have emotional security either.” You continue the discussion until you are persuaded or until your partner runs out of ideas!
Option 2: If you do not have a partner, then write the arguments down, playing both sides. Stretch to get out of the box of your beliefs. Prove that they might not be totally true or maybe they are even wrong. Provided below the beliefs are some questions to use to prime the pump, if needed. You'll be amazed at what you discover.
Option 3: Write down the statements you selected and write a situation where the statement is true and at least one situation where the statement is false. For example, "Saving money is a virtue." A true statement about this is that savings can be useful and good for emergencies and to purchase things you cannot immediately afford. The act of saving can also lead to maturity and growth of a person by exhibiting discipline and postponing immediate gratification. However, an opposing viewpoint is that you can save just to be saving and not allow yourself to have any pleasure or fun. Saving to an extreme can hurt you and thus is not a virtue.
BELIEFS ABOUT MONEY

(Check or circle each that you believe is true)
Money manages itself.
Money should not be talked about.
Money and spirituality don’t mix.
Saving money is a virtue.
Being in debt is the American way.
Once I have enough money, I will be okay.
Money is the primary reason I work.
I don’t have to understand money, he/she does it.
I’m embarrassed about money.
I think I should know all about money.
Money must only be spent on things of value.
Everyone else understands money better than I do.
Money buys me respect.
Money makes people do evil things.
Money is behind all the evil in the world.
I cannot accept money from friends or family.
I don’t have enough money.
You have to save money for security.
Medical care should be profitless.
Working hard brings money.
The harder you work, the more money you get.
It is wrong/weak to accept money from others.
People are respected more if they have money.
I need a lot of money to be secure.
You cannot have too much money.
I need to save enough to last me forever.
It takes money to make money.
Money can’t make you happy.
You cannot live without money.
Money is power, freedom, and independence.
Money can’t buy love.
Spiritual things shouldn’t cost money.
I need money to live.
It's rude to ask someone about his or her salary.
Money doesn’t grow on trees.
Money is security.
Everyone should just get a job!
It’s all about whom you know.
I can’t trust people who ask for money.
I should help people who are in need.
No one should make that much money.
People without money are losers.
There is never enough money.
Everything depends on money.
Once I get money, it’s hard to keep it.
Money shouldn’t be so hard to make.
Money is easy to get.
Money is made to spend.
Having money makes me feel better, happier.
Money is king.
I can’t accomplish my dreams without money.
There are more important things in life than money.
Receiving or buying beautiful gifts for myself makes me feel loved.
People like rich people better. It’s easier to like someone who is rich.
When I have enough money, I will be more generous and help others.
I look down on or feel sorry for people who ask for money.
If I don’t have money, bad things will happen to me.
You should never tell anyone how much money you make.
I value things by how much they are worth in money.
I could be _______(free, adventurous, happy…) if I had money.
It’s not fair that some people are rich and others are poor.
It’s only a penny (nickel, dime, quarter, dollar.).
A penny saved is a penny earned.
Money makes the world go round.
Time is money.
A fool and his money are soon parted
Don't put all your eggs in one basket
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
Marry for love, not money.
It's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Money is a flow. If you're in the flow, money will come.
You get what you pay for.

Exercise Option 2:
QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS
1. Specifically, what is the belief? Be as specific as you can.
2. Why do I care?
3. Does it serve me to operate from that belief?
4. Does it conflict with my other beliefs?
5. Who will be upset if I don’t operate from that belief?
6. How does this belief affect me? Affect my life? Affect my relationships?
7. What if this belief weren’t true?
8. How would that affect me? How would it affect the world?
9. What if the opposite were true?
10. What did my family feel about this belief? How did I feel about this as a child?
11. Can you think of an example in real life that supports this belief?
12. Can you think of an example in real life that goes against this belief?
13. What if the whole world believed this? What would the impact be?

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Monday, July 17, 2006

Job Searches in Mid-Life and Beyond

Because I coach mid-lifers in creating the life of their dreams, sometimes that includes changing careers or changing jobs. Data from several sources indicates it is now more difficult to find a job after age 50. There are many articles and books out about this phenomena. With boomers wanting to work longer either from necessity or from choice, this is going to be a challenge many will face sooner or later. If you are forty now and plan to work until you are 65 or 70, it is highly likely you will not still be at the same job until then. So what can you do to improve your chances that you will find a job that satisfies you and meets your needs?

There are many ways to find job openings and to apply. First is networking. Networking means simply contacting every one you know and letting them know in clear and unambiguous terms what kind of job you are looking for and that you are in the job market. The clearer and more definite you are, the easier it will be for your network to "hear" about an opening that matches you. This means, not just your friends and family, but your hairdresser, your neighbors, your accountant, basically everyone in your Rolodex and business card file. Dig out your old previous company rosters and give some of your former co-workers a call. When you meet someone new and it is appropriate, be sure to let them know what you are looking for. Contact your list at least once a month or every other month.

Second way is searching job listings on the Internet and in the newspapers. There are literally thousands of job search sites on the Internet, some very general and some specific to industry, type of job, location, etc. You can typically apply online at these sites submitting your resume and cover letter. This may result in an interview, but can be very discouraging because companies receive thousands of resumes this way. Yours is just one in a large pile. One further step you can take, especially if it is a job you are very excited about, is to contact the company directly. Often the listing gives you company name and contact information. If not, it is often easy to figure out which company it is in a particular location and the contact information is public information (ask your librarian or search online). Call the contact person directly and ask for an interview.

A third way to find a job is to search individual company websites for career or job openings. If you know you'd like to work in a particular company or a particular industry, this is a good way to find what jobs are open and again, the contact information. Again, contacting individuals in the company directly is more effective than just mailing a resume. You probably see a trend here: that is to talk to people instead of sending emails or mail.

Of course, finding an opening is only part of the job search. You must have a beautifully written, compelling resume and cover letter and great interview skills and style. Future columns will cover these two areas. If you are in doubt about your resume or your interviewing skills, a coach (like me!!) can often help tremendously.

If you are over 50 and have completed a successful job search, how did you do it and what were your experiences? Please leave a comment if you'd like to share your story.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Three High Power Tips to Live In Attraction

It’s what we all want, isn’t it? To have an abundant and joyful life: abundant love and friendship, abundant finances, abundant creativity in our choice of lifestyle and career. So what’s the secret to having this wonderful overflowing abundance we all yearn for? To have abundance, you must be abundance. The best way to be abundant is to live it…think it, feel it and model it. Here are three tips for living an abundant life right now.

1. What language do you use? Every day we talk our way through our lives. We discuss, negotiate, teach, share and tell stories. These are a way of making our mark on the world and letting others know whom we are. Are you telling a story of lack, of greed, or poverty or one of riches and abundance, no matter what the topic? Words and phrases like “need”, “wish”, “if only”, “when I have ____, then”, etc. only put out lack-ful energy into the world. And what you get back is more lack and poverty. Instead notice all that you do have and gratefully acknowledge it. Change your words to those that state your true purpose and positive intentions using words like “I have..”, “I choose..”, and “I intend..” Stay in attraction with the language you use.

2. Who are you hanging out with? Our relationships are the gold in our lives. Or the lead (think toxic)! Our friendships, family, co-workers and love relationships are mirrors of our inner being. If we are in conflict, constantly criticized or around negative energy for much of our days, we can’t help but absorb some of it and then pass it on. As you change to a more positive, attractive outlook, many of these relationships will either change or fall away. That is natural and desirable (even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like it). But you can also choose to reduce or eliminate your exposure to toxic relationships right now. Make the choice for abundance and find joyful, supportive, positive people to hang out with.

3. How do you start your day? Does your day start with a clanging alarm clock, cups of coffee, bad news from the TV, and a struggle just to get started? No wonder we’re not attracting what we desire! The easiest way to change your daily life into one of positive attraction and abundance is to change the way you start the day. Wake up earlier if you must to allot some time to meditating, journaling or stretching, or whatever your body and spirit call for. This is a time to set your intentions for abundance for the day, to ease into the day with gratitude and joy; not to plunge forward in a busy, already stressed out attitude. Start small and see if you can make a change tomorrow to improve the way you feel first thing in the morning. Notice what a huge difference it makes in staying with your positive thoughts and emotions, which are, of course, the real secret to staying attractive.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Unburden and Get Life Balance

Life balance...we all talk about it but few achieve it. We want our lives to be balanced between work and play. We want more pleasure in our lives and less pain and angst. We want space and clarity, not clutter and busy-ness. So how do we obtain this rare "life balance"? Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Get rid of the "shoulds". When you hear yourself say "should" as in "I really should...", you know that it is someone else's life you are living. The real you would not need a "should". It would be natural and obvious to you. Should is a word that comes from someone else, such as your parents or your church or even society. Notice when you bring up the "shoulds", think it through, decide what is really true to you and let go of the rest.

2. Tolerating too much. Tolerations are those things that we "put up with" or "settle for" even though we don't like it, it causes us discomfort or we feel it's just too difficult to change. Things (places, people, activities) we tolerate but do not enjoy deplete our precious life energy, our time, and often create negative experiences, emotions and thoughts, none of which does us any good. For every moment you spend doing something you do not enjoy, you have wasted an opportunity to experience and enjoy that moment. List at least five things in your life that you are tolerating. To get you started, think about your work, your home, your family, your significant other, your spiritual life, your environment. Pick one of these top five tolerations and list the steps you can take right now to rid yourself of this situation or change it into something more positive that meets your needs.

3. Clean up your space and make it yours. Few people realize how strong the effect of clutter and messiness is on our psyche and our lives. Is your home an inviting place, clear of clutter? Does it make you feel serene, creative, comforted? Is your office a place you want to be? Does it feed your productivity and creativity? Does it say success to you? The environments in which you spend your time can pull you forward to success and happiness or they can create obstacles that drag on your energy and emotions. Clean them up, clear them out, add beauty wherever you can. Try this and see how you feel. Even small successes can make a big difference. I guarantee you it will make a difference in how you feel.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006