Mid-Life Unfolds

Life Unfolds - Dedicated to "Attracting What's Next in Mid-Life and Beyond!" Have you reached mid-life or beyond and are you wondering what is next? Life Unfolds provides business and personal coaching and training to help you thrive while answering the what nexts. We specialize in helping mid-lifers achieve their dreams, change careers, retire happily and to thrive through transitions. More information can be found at http://www.lifeunfolds.com.



Friday, March 30, 2007

Take Out the Trash


I read this phrase, "take out the trash", recently in a movie review and thought how much trash is in each of our lives. We look around our home or office and say, hey, there's no trash here. We organize, we declutter, we simplify...no trash here. And we do keep our homes and cars clean, our lawns nice, but that's not all that needs to be cleaned up. We take better care of our homes and cars than we do ourselves and our spirits, especially when it comes to trash!

What is trash?

Trash is negative thoughts and negative images hanging around in our ever-busy minds. Often put there by 100% voluntary consumption of violent TV, movies and books.

Trash is beating up on ourselves for all sorts of real and imagined faults. We're often kinder to strangers than we are to ourselves.

Trash is filling our lives with meaningless, even harmful, distractions that make us dull and lazy. Ruts and giving up begin here.

Trash is living small, staying in the box you grew up with even when it doesn't serve your best interests any more. Only a tree should stay stuck in the same place its entire life.

Trash is living with things that you dislike or even hate. You get to choose.

Trash is settling for less than you desire, less than you deserve.

Trash is sitting on the couch watching TV or playing computer games for endless hours when you could be exercising or meditating or living your passion or even playing with your spouse or children.

Trash is eating more fat and sugar in a day than a family of ten needs.

Trash is polluting your body and mind, killing your spirit with alcohol and other addictions.

Trash is hanging out with friends and family who run you down, take advantage of you, don't listen and validate and believe in you.

Trash is looking in the mirror and saying anything besides "I love you and you're beautiful/handsome."

Trash is going to a job you hate year after year, living in fear, not allowing yourself room to breathe and grow.

Trash is any attitude, belief or value that doesn't serve your highest and best interests.

You take out the trash in your house every day or every other day. You take it to the curb every week or so. You clean up your lawn once a week or every two weeks. Your car gets cleaned every week (okay, every two months!).

But how often do you clean out the trash in your most treasured possessions: Your mind and your body, your Self? How many years or even decades have you been living with trash? Can you feel it? Can you see all that trash piling up around you, holding you back, holding you down? Is it time to take out the trash?

Please leave a comment.

Copyright 2007, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds. All rights reserved.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Ten Winning Ways to Say No



You can't manage your life, your time, your energy if you can't say no to unreasonable requests, things you don't want to do, and things that are clearly not in your best interest. Saying no is an art, but everyone can learn to do it. If you're the least bit uneasy saying no to your boss, your spouse, your children, strangers and friends, then read on.

Here are some ways for you to say no. Be clear and firm.

1. That won’t work for me.
2. I just do not enjoy doing that/that kind of work.
3. I have another commitment.
4. My calendar is full. Or I am already overcommitted.
5. I am in the middle of several time-consuming projects.
6. I need to focus more on my (work, family, health, etc.)
7. No, can’t do it. Or just plain no.
8. I can’t do it, but I know someone who can.
9. This is not my strong suit. Or I’m not really qualified to do this.
10. I am not comfortable with that.

If you are uneasy or out of practice with saying no, here are a few tips:

Don't justify, explain, defend, negotiate, or give details about why you are saying no. Why? First because you have every right to say for no reason at all. But even if you have a reason, it's no one else's business. Also, when you give a reason, it gives the requestor a chance to argue, push or negotiate you off that position. Better to just say no, shake your head, and change the subject.

Don't apologize or say you are sorry for having to say no. This puts you in a less than firm or weaker position. You really don't have to be sorry for doing what is right for you.

If someone continues to wheedle, ask, plead, or otherwise pushes you, just continue to say no. This is taught in some assertiveness classes. Just repetitively say no until they are worn down.

Practice saying no with someone you trust. Especially if you know someone is about to ask you for something you do not want to do. (To be PTA mom, or to watch their dog for a month, or to do just one more project, e.g.) Role play with your friend asking you the question and you saying no (see above for ways to say no). Practice until you feel very comfortable doing this.

It's also good to practice on small requests and/or with strangers first. Work your way up to your spouse, your family and your boss.

Trust me, it does get easier. You, too can be a world champion no-sayer!

What's your favorite way to say no? Leave a comment.


By Mary Anne Fields of Life Unfolds, copyright 2007, all rights reserved. http://www.LifeUnfolds.com

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Wise Ones Say

Here are a few quotes to ponder.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

"When it comes to the words you choose, whether in your mind or amongst friends, let them be of what you like and love. What you care about and cherish. What makes you happy. What gives you wings. What makes you dream. And very little else. --The Universe" Mike Dooley

“Where there is purpose, there is energy. Actions directed toward a compelling purpose will create a powerful momentum that lines up events and circumstances in your favor. Purpose gives you a reason to get going each day and strengthens your determination to persist when the going gets tough. Purpose pushes you firmly toward your highest level of accomplishment.” Ralph Marston

"Measure yourself by your best moments, not by your worst. We are
too prone to judge ourselves by our moments of despondency and
depression." Robert Johnson

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." Albert Einstein


One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices
one makes.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do you have a favorite quote to share? Leave a comment!

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Friday, March 02, 2007

Achieve through Receiving



In aiming your thoughts and emotions toward your goals, that is, by using the law of attraction, one area often trips us up. Receiving or allowing. The steps to working with the law of attraction are:

  • Clearly know what you want.
  • Use your thoughts and emotions to positively and clearly make it real in your mind.
  • Be grateful for all that you already have, especially in line with what you desire.
  • Think, feel and act as if you already had what you desire.
  • Let go and allow the Universe to work on your behalf, let go of the how.
  • Watch for clues from the Universe or God that will let you know what actions to take.
  • Take the actions.
  • As what you desire starts to show up in your life, receive it, allow it.
  • Be grateful for each and every thing that shows up as you desire.

Many of us are able to clearly see what we desire, are able to stay positive and visualize, but than stumble when it comes to receiving. I have a personal story to illustrate this. A friend of mine keeps a dream binder in which she has pictures of all the things she wants, some material, some intangible. In this book, she had a picture of a gorgeous Rolex watch. I was in a class where the leader, my friend and fellow coach, held up her arm. On it was a beautiful Rolex watch. She asked the group, "Want to know how I got my watch?" We all nodded and said yes. She went on to say, "A friend called me up and said that she was getting too fat to wear her watch and wanted to know if I wanted it. I said yes!" We all looked surprised. She then asked "which of you would have accepted the watch, this free gift of the Universe?" We all said we would have said no to the gift. Some would have felt guilt, or felt there were strings, or felt they couldn't wear such a nice watch, all sorts of reasons. Talk about not receiving!

Of course, it's obvious when you think about it, it won't matter how good you are at affirmations, at thinking and feeling positively, at visualizing and journaling about your desires or at taking informed actions as provided to you by the Universe, if you cannot receive what is given. No where in the law of attraction does it say you get to pick how your desire will show up. No where does it say, it will come to you in a way you can accept and expect. We do not get to choose the how, we only need to watch and say yes. We receive and allow, easy with the flow of good coming to us, no matter its form.

Practice today saying yes when offered something. A cup of coffee, a ride to work, help with something. Say yes and receive.

If you have a story to share about receiving, please leave a comment.



All contect copyrighted, 2007, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds. All rights reserved.




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