Actions Talk

My current goals workshop (Quantum Goal Setting) has built in action steps for the participants. I ask that students take a minimum of five actions per day on each of their goals. There is always some consternation about that because we all live already busy lives. It got me to thinking about how important our actions are. Not necessarily in and of themselves, but as a way to speak our desires.

Often we say we want something, let's say we want to spend more time with our significant other. We may strongly intend it, write an affirmation or two and write it in our journal. But then someone asks us to work overtime. We say yes because we need the money and our boss will be impressed. Then someone else asks if we would volunteer to participate in a charity walk. We say yes because it is a good cause and we need the exercise. And, of course, we believe that we must spend lots of quality time with our children, because that's what good parents do and we want the best for our kids. So we take our kids to school, pick them up, do homework with them, supervise play dates and lots more. So then our significant other says let's take a weekend just for ourselves, go away for a couple of days. And you say, No, I'm too busy, I made a commitment to walk in a charity event and the kids have scouts this weekend.

Doesn't make sense does it given what we said we wanted. But I see this in my coaching practice frequently. What are our actions saying to us, those around us and to the Universe about what we want. We said with words what we wanted, but our actions are saying something very different! After all, actions are where we focus our time and energy.

Several things are happening in this scenario. First, we need to ask is the intent real and clear and truly desired or is it just a passing thought? Maybe it is even an "I should want" rather than a "I really do want". We need to check to see what kind of energy and feeling are underlying the desire. Second, we often use the reasoning that if something has benefits or is "good" then we must do it. A charity walk (good cause), overtime (money, good will), spending time with a friend, helping a neighbor, etc. We can rationalize almost anything into a commitment of our time and energy, often sending our true desires and goals off-track. It is a guarantee that in this lifetime you will have to make choices. There will not be enough time and energy to do everything you think you want.

But what happened to our desire to spend time with our significant other? When presented with an opportunity to fulfill that desire, we went off track because we had overextended our time and energy. We also may not have mentally connected this "opportunity" with our true desire. We might have been distracted when the SO asked for the weekend. Or we may have suspected some hidden agenda, but didn't ask questions to figure it out.

All this points to some tips about how to get more from our lives.
1. know what you want as clearly as possible
2. take action to get what you want, any action is better than no action and inspired action (from intuition or clues from the Universe) is much better than action derived from the "head", our actions are another way of telling the Universe what we truly desire
3. focus on and pay attention to your goals and desires, spending time with them each day
4. try to slow down enough for reflection, self-awareness via thoughts and feelings, and to truly listen
4. listen carefully for opportunities that knock on your door
5. say yes and take action

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006