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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

30 Day As-If


Often in the Law of Attraction teachings, we are advised to live as-if...as if we already are wealthy, or as if we are beautiful, or as if we are loved, etc. Great advice, and I always thought, easier said than done.

My husband and I have had big and fairly specific plans for our semi-retirement years. We would be healthier, exercise, meditate more, travel more. So here it is six months into that semi-retirement and none of those things were happening. Life kept getting in the way. Life-long habits persisted. We made many half-hearted attempts to do the things on our list but only travel really took hold.

I was frustrated and feeling defeated about the whole thing. then I remembered the as-if teaching. My husband and I discussed a plan to have 30 perfect days of living our plan. 30 perfect days of eating healthy, exercise and meditating as if we were already doing those things. This is different from just saying I have a goal of losing 20 pounds so I'll start dieting. That's a goal with a measurable accomplishment and an end. Notice that our plans didn't really describe goals, they described a lifestyle. We wanted to live healthier, live more spiritually, and experience the world through travel. So rather than wait until we could somehow set up goals, make plans and figure out how to do these things, we just lived as if they were already true for us.

Just as an example, here are some of the thoughts that kept us stuck: I'm not ready to lose weight, I'll start when I'm not so stressed, meditating two hours a day is too much, I'll have to work up to meditating that long, It's almost summer (in Houston) and too hot to start exercising, it will take me hours to figure out how to plan menus to eat healthy, I'm too tired, etc.

So when we decided to live as if we were healthy, fit, and spiritual, we simply decided what our days would look like. We'd eat healthy, we would buy healthy foods, we'd choose wisely, we'd exercise every day, we'd choose activity over sloth, we'd take our vitamins and supplements regularly, we'd take our prescription medicine religiously, we'd monitor our health, we'd floss every day, and meditate between 1 and 2 hours a day. And we would put all of this as our daily priority. For example, when friends called to ask us to meet them for dinner, we declined because they were going to eat Mexican and didn't want to change their plans. We thought this would be too much of a challenge for us given where we are right now. Another set of friends asked us out and we suggested a salad place.

I have to admit, I secretly thought we'd stick with it a day or two and then fall away or that we wouldn't even get started. But lo and behold, we're doing it. And it's easy. And it's fun. I'll keep you posted on how it's going.

But now, how does this apply to you? What is it you want? What is it you are putting off trying or "getting ready to get started" (my own personal favorite way to put things off). What dream do you have but don't really see any way to get there?

Many of you have already done one or more "dream boards". They often have pictures of wonderful friends and family gatherings, exciting activities such as travel or dancing or kayaking, loving relationships with a spouse or lover, happy times with children, satisfying careers, etc. Almost all of these are actually lifestyle choices. Can you choose to live that way starting today?

What would happen if you just started? What if you took the first step today towards that dream? Live as-if all the planning, all the getting ready, all the inner work, all the obstacles had already been taken care of. Just start, now.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have many of the type of days that you describe. What do you do if you have a partner who is not in the same emotional space as you?

3:28 PM  
Blogger lifeunfolds.com said...

I believe most of us are in the same situation as you. While my husband is with me on this one plan, we are not matched exactly the same on intensity or expectations. In our case, I don't judge whether he is doing what he ought or whether he is doing it "right". And vice versa. We're in agreement on some things, but not others.

I can relate to your situation in another area, that of living more simply and frugally. I have been a simple liver and have lived below my means for about 20 years. My husband believes (as is his right) he should be able to spend most of what he makes and that toys and more toys are truly great. I decided early on not to make this a divisive area, but instead to gently coax, live as a role model, point out the benefits when they materialize, etc. and then to accept his own beliefs if he chose not to adjust. In other words, I am very patient. he has come along quite nicely and lives more simply and more frugally than before. It just took some years. And we are still not at the same level, but it's okay.

Ultimately, we all are on our own paths, individually. It's nice when we can share and find camaraderie, a shared philosophy, shared goals, and so on, but it is not absolutely necessary. If you need the sharing, you can make it someone other than your spouse, a friend or group or relative. I believe it is personal power and personal strength to live your own beliefs and values and to recognize when and why you are compromising for the sake of a relationship, or children or a career. Our egos can sometimes use our spouse's differences as an excuse not to make changes ourselves. I find it absolutely amazing that when I change, he often changes also, even when my changing was not directed at changing him. It's like magic.

Does this help? Did I understand your question correctly?

4:42 PM  

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