Eradicate the Holiday Blues

Do you get the blues at the big holidays like Christmas or New Year's? Many of us do. Part of it is caused by stress and unhealthy behavior (too much rich food, alcohol, burning the candle at both ends) and part by our expectations. We look at Christmas through our childhood memories, somehow expecting that our adult Christmases will invoke the same anticipation, excitement and warmth as those of our childhood. Television, commercials and movies reinforce the idea that the holidays are overflowing with joy, love and fun. We believe these holidays are supposed to be filled with good times, fabulous friends, lots of parties and a warm loving family. Most of us have these at one time or another, but not consistently for a month at a time, somehow all converging on this one time of the year, just because it is a holiday. Everyone is busy at this time of year. Everyone is feeling more stress, less energy. And lots of your friends and family are also feeling the blues right now.

So where does this leave us? How can we have more joy, feel better and enjoy rather than dread the holidays?

First, simplify, simplify, simplify. What can you do less of and enjoy more?
1. Cut down on the number of invitations you accept. Only accept those you absolutely know you will enjoy. No "obligation" parties this year. Say no and then no again.
2. Do away with your own entertaining unless it is the highlight of your year. Or do a much simpler kind of entertaining, a potluck or an open house. A friend of mine held a breakfast potluck in the park on Christmas Eve last year. It was so much fun. She didn't have to clean or buy decorations or dress up. She just had to write some emails and bake one breakfast goodie. Some brought bikes to ride, others just came and sat or walked. Many brought their dogs.
3. Cut down on the number of gifts you give, especially those you give out of obligation only. I have done this gradually through the years and now only give a few gifts, all handmade, because that gives me a lot of satisfaction and joy. Giving fewer gifts cuts down on worrying, listmaking, shopping, parking, driving, returning, wrapping, storing, and carting around time and energy.
4. Also reduce the number of places you go during the holidays. When my son was little, he had four sets of grandparents (due to divorces). He was the only grandson and all lived within 30 miles of us. Each year we went to all of these on either Xmas Eve or Xmas day. It was too much for all of us, but at that time we didn't know how to extricate ourselves. We could have invited them all to our house for one celebration or spread it out over several weeks or even split across years.
5. Send no cards out. Reduce your list. Or send out e-cards, much easier than snail mail cards. You can even use a greeting card service where the cards are addressed and sent out for you for a fee.
6. Decorate less. Unless decorating your home gives you a lot of pleasure, cut back or eliminate the decorating. Will one wreath do instead of six? I heard someone talking the other day about putting a tree up in each room of her house. And yes, she was exhausted. Can you cut back even a little on decorating?

Pay attention to your healthy habits. At this time of year, it is so easy to forget our health. We stop exercising and eat copious amounts of rich, fatty food. And many of us do this for a month or more. After all, it is a holiday "season". We often don't get enough sleep because of stress, busy-ness, and socializing. The good news is you are in control of these factors.
1. If you're going to indulge in rich food and more alcohol than usual, limit it to only a few times, not several times every week. Limit your intake of fat to only the dessert. Choose to drink only one or two drinks at any given party. If you're giving your own party, have a few healthy choices for party goers. If you're taking something to a party, take something healthy you can eat yourself. It will help to eat a healthy snack or meal before going to a party. You will indulge less.
2. Make a commitment to yourself that you will get at least seven or eight hours of sleep at least six days a week during the holidays. You'll feel so much better and have more energy and reserves.
3. Exercise. Take the stairs, go on the morning or evening walk before the party. You know you'll feel better if you do.

Combat loneliness and isolation. For some of us the problem is not too much, but too little. Our families may live far away. We may have just moved. Maybe we're between friends. We may be feeling lonely and uncared for. Again, this is in your control to a large extent.
1. If you can't travel to see your family, invite them to you. If that is not feasible, then make sure you have lots of contact with them throughout the holidays. Call them on the major holidays. Ask them to send you a video of the family all together for the holidays.
2. Visit a relative who lives closer to you, maybe a cousin or an aunt and uncle. It may even be someone you are not particularly close to. It is still family and you may be surprised at how well this satisfies that longing for family.
3. If you are not invited to a lot of parties, make your own. You can host a potluck party for all your friends who also live away from families. Or host an open house which usually gives you more time to visit with the attendees.
4. Attend organization events. Most towns and cities have parades, city-wide celebrations such as lighting the town hall tree, club events such as Sierra Club, church or temple events, etc. Get out and be with people. You will feel better even when you don't know them.
5. Call your phone list and make lunch or breakfast plans. Renew old friendships and start new ones.

Create your own traditions. Sometimes our sadness is caused by clinging to old traditions, those of our childhood, our ex-in-laws, our previous stage in life. Our situations in life change and our traditions must change also. As we get older, what served when our children were little, no longer serves when they live in another state (or country!). Mostly we unconsciously cling to these traditions and then are sad when things don't have that same glow as they did before. So this year, begin to create your own traditions, some that are more suited to where you are today. Adjust or start over, whatever serves you best. Don't be afraid to try something new and to take care of your needs first.

Do you have other suggestions on how to combat the holiday blues? Please leave a comment.