Step Outside Yourself

The holidays can be wonderful, filled with love, family, gifts, beauty. They can also be very hard, sorrowful, lonely, empty. Hopefully, yours are the former and not the latter.

If you look around you, I believe you will find those for whom the holidays are a particularly hard time of year. Maybe it is a neighbor or a co-worker. It may be one of your friends or acquaintances or even someone in your family. It could even be a stranger, but someone who you just know is having a bad time. It may be someone who has been having a bad year, lost a spouse, is ill, or lost a job. Or it could be someone who has just had a bad life, always suffering with one mishap after another.

If you have a good life then share it with others. If you are happy, you probably have some excess in resources, in love, in generosity, that you can use to make someone else's life a little happier. Below are some ideas to generally spread a little holiday cheer.

1. Call someone whom you know is lonely and have a 15 minute conversation with them. Allow them to talk as much as they wish, but be prepared to carry the conversation ball.

2. Even if you do not send out holiday cards, pick five people who you think may need a little extra cheer this year (because of illness, loneliness, divorce, death, job loss) and send them a personal holiday greeting.

3. Bake (or buy) cookies for the one neighbor you feel could use a little help with the holidays.

4. Offer to babysit for one evening or one Saturday for a working single mom who may be struggling.

5. Have extra books or CDs that you no longer want? Leave them at bus stops throughout your neighborhood for strangers to take. It is like an early Christmas for some. You can also leave in hotel rooms, on the train or bus, or in public bathrooms.

6. Visit someone in the hospital at least once during the holidays. Take a book or candy or flowers. If you don't know anyone who is there, send your extra magazines and books to be given to patients.

7. Do an act of random kindness. If you're in line at the grocery store and see someone who may need help, pay for their groceries. Or if that is out of the question for you, help put their groceries on the conveyor or in the car. See someone waiting for a cab to take their groceries home? Offer them a ride (if safe).

8. Write a letter to someone in your family or a close friend who may need some cheering up. It doesn't have to be long but you may want to include pictures or a newspaper or magazine clipping that would interest them.

9. Invite someone who is lonely to share a holiday event with you. Pay for their ticket if it costs. This could be a "lights in the park", or a concert at a church or music hall, a dinner or a party. If you're thinking, but I don't know if I really like them or want to spend that much time with them, remember this one time it is not about you, it is about them. Giving them companionship and the chance to get out and enjoy themselves.

10. If you have a neighbor who needs a little extra help, buy a gift for them and leave it anonymously on their doorstep. Try to make it something that would bring them a moment of joy or pleasure.

11. Choose one child who needs some extra help and give, give, give! Whether it is time or material goods, clothes, reading tutoring, attention or hugs. Just give.

The amazing thing about this is not only are you sharing your own bounty with others, but the result is you also will feel better and more worthwhile. Give with your heart and it is even more significant.

Do you have your own ideas of how to step outside yourself during the holidays? Please leave a comment.