Wealth versus Happiness

Someone recently left a comment to one of my blogs pointing out that wealth does not bring happiness and that people would be better off if they spent their time facing up to that rather than searching for more wealth, especially if they can pay their bills already. You won't see that comment because it was anonymous and I've made it a policy not to allow anonymous comments. However, the point is valid.

In my workshops and in my coaching, I often speak of the endless search for happiness outside ourselves. We look to wealth to make us happy. We look to careers, children, spouses, sex, clothing, entertainment, food, alcohol, drugs, vacations, and just about anything else you can think of, thinking that finally this is the thing that will make us happy. So why do we keep searching for that elusive thing out there? The thing that will make us happy?

Because we are human. Humans desire things. Humans desire, period. Even saying that though does not mean that we cannot learn what makes us happy and what does not. We all have had the experience of desiring something strongly. If we ever stop to question why we desire it, the answer is almost always something related to how we will feel when we have it. We will feel happier, more secure, stronger, better, good, excited, prettier, sexier, healthier, etc. Many of us want wealth because it gives us choices, more freedom to live as we wish. And why do we want freedom to live as we wish; because we believe it will make us happy. So basically most of us do not actually want the wealth itself, but what it brings us, freedom or choices or perceived prestige and so on. So we are back to looking to something outside ourselves to make us happy.

Many studies have been done about money and happiness. Most studies show that rich people are no happier than poor people. All you have to do is read any celebrity magazine to know that this is true! And that when someone gets a great deal of money as in winning the lottery, after a few weeks or months, their happiness level returns to pre-lottery-winning levels. A few studies show that increased wealth does bring a slight increase in happiness, but that may be related to relieving stress and worry in those who cannot pay their bills. That being said, not having enough money to have the basics can contribute to your unhappiness, bringing stress, illness, emotional upheaval, etc. If you have enough to make your bills and have a little extra, adding a lot more will not add to your happiness.

I also believe that one of the ways you learn that money (or anything else outside yourself) does not bring you happiness is by wanting more money, getting it and noticing that it didn't bring you the happiness you desired. In my own aha! experience, I once spent my hard earned money redecorating my house (for the first time with everything new). It was beautiful, just the way I always imagined it. It cost a lot of money and effort, but turned out perfectly. My thrill lasted only a few days. I really got in touch with what was happening. I was not happier. The expense and the time and energy spent in obtaining these material goods was a waste (other than my learning the lesson). Since then I have simplified, do not buy a lot of things and generally do not relate my happiness to material goods. But I may not have learned the lesson without having gone through the experience myself. Most of us do not learn just by others telling us something is so. We learn through experience. Many of us after getting the wealth we desired will misinterpret the missing happiness as meaning the wealth they finally got wasn't enough, and that they actually need even more to make them happy. Thus the cycle of "wanting more" continues. Every one learns in their own time and in their own way.

So what is the "take away" from this? If you want wealth or financial independence, try to figure out what you are really looking for. Is it security? Is it freedom? Is it prestige? Whatever it is, you can ask for it directly without having the wealth. If it is freedom you desire, then ask for and attract freedom. If it is happiness you desire, then ask for and attract happiness. And, really notice what adds to your happiness and what does not.

All content copyrighted, 2006, Life Unfolds and Mary Anne Fields. All rights reserved.