Want Less Stress?

One of the ways to reduce and even avoid stress is to have reserves. Having reserves means having space, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual space. It means having a little more than you usually need.

Here are a few scenarios where stress is dominant and there are little or no reserves.

Suzanne lives paycheck to paycheck. She rarely has enough money to buy extras and often cannot pay bills on time. She has only a few thousand dollars in savings and no retirement savings. She cannot buy a much needed replacement car, she cannot take vacations, she doesn't have the money to take night classes to improve her situation. She uses credit cards to buy things she wants and sometimes to pay bills, but this adds anxiety because she doesn't have the money to pay the credit card bills. She feels trapped, anxious, out of control.

James is lonely. He lives in a small apartment and works from there. He does have a couple of friends, but only sees them for lunch a couple of times a month. He is so busy with work that he doesn't have much time to make new friends or to start a love relationship. The more he is alone, the more he feels out of touch and as if he will always be alone. His self-esteem suffers which makes him even less likely to summon up the resources to meet someone new. His apartment is small and cluttered so he doesn't really want to have people over. He feels lonely, disgusted, angry and depressed.

Samantha is disorganized. She frequently loses things, and often cannot find information she needs for her business. She loses clients because of this. Her home and office are both messy, cluttered and chaotic. They mirror her own feelings. Each day she says to herself that she will start to get a handle on organizing and getting her space cleaned up, but feels overwhelmed at the thought of it. She feels confused, uneasy and overwhelmed.

In all these cases, there are little or no reserves to help, financial reserves, living space, time, energy and so on. To help ease stress, to add comfort and ease, reserves are a necessity. Reserves apply in all areas of your life, your finances, your home, your career, your relationships, your transportation, your spiritual life, and everywhere else.

Financial Reserves

The obvious financial reserves include having an emergency fund sufficient to cover 3 to 6 months of expenses in case of job loss, illness, burnout. But that is just the beginning. The first step to living stress free financially is to live below your means. No matter how little or how much you make, your expenses need to be less than what you make. At least 10% less, but 20% is better. This gives you a cushion and allows you to create an emergency fund, to save for a house, for vacations, for a new car, and to save for retirement. An additional reserve is that you have an organization for your bill paying activities. You know when bills are due, you pay them on time or early, envelopes, pens, addresses and contact information are all in one place to use when you pay bills. Another reserve is to have little or no debt. Best is to have no debt other than your home. One more is to pay close attention to being paid what you and your work are worth. Any two people in the same job or the same profession can make vastly different salaries. It is key for you to know what is fair and to be compensated fully. And the last area of reserve for your finances is to have knowledge about investing and to have a plan to reach financial independence and/or to retire to a comfortable living. If you are like Suzanne above, this may all seem a pipe dream. But all is achievable using small steps and starting now.

Health and Beauty

Nothing will cause more stress than being seriously ill. Illness can drag you down and make everything more difficult. Prevention is key. Health reserves include eating healthy foods in moderation, exercising, taking supplements, drinking water, and managing your stress through relaxation and meditation. But that is just the beginning. Of course, drugs, alcohol, caffeine and smoking add a great deal of stress, especially if in excess. Getting enough sleep is important as well. Regularly schedule doctor visits for screening tests will help catch any illnesses early. Knowing your blood test scores such as blood sugar, tryglicerides, choloesterol, and thyroid are essential. Dental health needs attention as well. Not only brushing and flossing daily, but regular cleanings and screenings at the dentist's office. Of course, you know all this, but have you ever related doing these things to reducing your stress? Can you connect how letting your teeth hygiene go by the wayside will cause you a great deal of stress when you have cavities and gum disease to deal with? To say nothing of cholesterol and heart disease, blood sugar and diabetes, etc. It all starts with the small things, what you put in your mouth each day and keeping up with your exercise regime. Start small, but start now.

Home

Having enough room to live in comfortably and to store your belongings will go a long way to providing you with needed reserves related to home. It can be very stressful to have too much stuff in too small a place. Either get rid of the stuff, organize it better or get more space. The result will be less stress. Do you have a space in your home to relax, to be free of noise and clutter? Is your home clean and uncluttered? Do all systems and mechanics work well? Is your home a comfortable temperature inside year round? All of these can add to or take away from your sense of comfort and well-being. Your home should be safe as well. Do you have smoke alarms throughout your home and adequate locks on all doors and windows? Even if you can't move to a bigger space, you can declutter and eliminate extra belongings. Start with one shelf or one drawer today.

Time and Energy

The biggest change you can make here is your attitude towards time. As a coach, the excuse I hear most often is, "I don't have enough time." There are two areas to consider here: first is how much time do you waste doing non-productive activities such as watching mindless television, playing computer games, being disorganized, talking on the phone, etc. And the second point is that we always manage to find time for what is important to us. Even when we are terribly busy, we end up spending the evening with friends if they call. Or we watch that television show (even when it is a rerun). I believe that everyone can manage to find the time to add a little exercise to their day or to prepare nutrition food. Everyone can find a few minutes a day to start organizing or cleaning. Look for the timewasters first and try to reduce or eliminate them. Second is to raise the priority of putting reserves in place to reduce your stress. This is an important life transformation that deserves your focused time and energy. You'll have more energy when you have more reserves and less stress.

My prescription is to focus on one area and to take small steps. Pretty soon one area will be under control and you can play with the next area.