Dialogue to Get Unstuck

If you are not getting what you want, if the abundance is not showing up, if things are stagnant in your life, then maybe it's time you speak up. In my workshops and in my coaching, the first step to getting what you want in your life is to KNOW what you want in your life. Obvious, huh? But in each of my workshops, there are at least a few who do not know what they want. They know "this" isn't it, but are not sure what they truly desire. Why is this?

We have conflicting beliefs and often conflicting values. It's sometimes difficult to decide what we desire because different parts of us want different things or think the thing we desire is good or bad or healthy or unhealthy and so on. Another way of saying this is we vacillate or we are ambivalent. We may have a hidden desire or passion, but the linear side of us "judges" that as negative or impossible. Sometimes we want success, sometimes we don't want to work at all. Sometimes we want a loving relationship, other times we think being single is the best. Sometimes we want to be a writer, other times we think that is too solitary an occupation. We go round and round.

Another block is catastrophizing the imagined results so that we live in fear. One of the common ones with some of the entrepreneurs I work with is looking forward to the envisioned future and seeing (a) total loss of our time being busy and overwhelmed because of incredible success, or (b) our beloved work turned into something we hate. We lose sight of the fact that at each step of the way we decide what our next step is. It is not here one day and President of the United States tomorrow. There are many steps along the way and many times where we can decide to stay with our vision, our goals, our intention and shy away from things that would overwhelm us or kill our passion. It is always within our control and our choice.

So how do we get out of these stuck positions? Start a dialogue. Speak up. Put your thoughts out instead of sitting on them, repressing them or having them whirl around in your head. Here are a few ideas on how to start the dialogue that will lead you to clarity.

1. Dialogue with yourself. This can be done in several ways, but here are a couple of ideas. Try to keep this light and energetic.

First just write it out as if it were a dialogue in a book. Person A (give it a catchy name like "judge", "excitement freak", "little old lady" or whatever seems appropriate) speaks first and states their position. Person B (also with a catchy name) speaks next and so on. When you start writing state your intention that the writing will result in resolution and clarity. Do this each time you write.

Another way to dialogue with yourself is to set up two chairs opposite one another. Person A (you) sits in one chair and talks out loud stating your position. Then you move to the other chair and become Person B. Move back and forth. Again at the beginning state your intention that the dialogue will result in resolution and clarity.

2. Dialogue with a trusted, supportive friend. Simply ask for help from them; ask them to listen and with gentle kindness, offer their viewpoint or to ask you good, hard questions. Again, be sure your intention is to gain resolution and clarity in what you desire.

3. Dialogue with a professional. A coach is perfect for this kind of dialogue. It is her job and she is trained to help you clarify by listening and asking good questions. To contact me about coaching, simply drop me a line at maf@lifeunfolds.com.

If you are stuck and can't seem to get what you desire, then dialogue your way through the block.

Please leave a comment if you found this helpful or would like to add to the ideas.

All content copyrighted, 2007, Life Unfolds and Mary Anne Fields. All rights reserved.