Mid-Life Mentors

I spent my weekend at a spiritual retreat. It was wonderful being with my spiritual friends, hearing the teacher, and it was held in Galveston at a beach house which didn't hurt either! Picture was taken on beach at retreat Sunday morning.

One of the points the teacher made was how challenging it can be to find good, solid mentors for those in mid-life and beyond. Mentors provide us with a well-worn path to what we want. We don't have to invent our own way; someone else has been there before us. All we have to do is model our actions after those who have what we desire. We can learn from their example.

In our youth, we modeled our lives after our parents and teachers, celebrities, those in public service, or even our friends. As we grew and gained wisdom, we sought others who had what we wanted. Maybe it was a successful career or wealth. I know I emulated the male vice-presidents at my corporation because that's what I wanted at the time. There were no women role models so I took what was at hand. In our child-bearing years we modeled others who were great parents as we had our own children. Possibly our grandparents or our neighbors or even our pediatrician.

Now we are approaching mid-life or are beyond it. This is a new life phase, a chance to change our life direction, to choose more wisely based on who we are today and on who we want to become.

I personally want my life to be simpler, more satisfying, less material-driven, more spiritual, more balanced. Oh, and a little more adventurous and challenging! I would like to be more fearless and much kinder. I want to make a difference in the world.

My mentor is my Buddhist lama. He is an absolute example of everything I want in my own life. I am privileged to know him, but not everyone is so lucky and not everyone wants what I want.

A mentor or role model can be the catalyst for change. He or she can be the proof we may need that the life we seek is possible, can be happy and satisfying, that it is not all a pipe dream. A mentor will exhibit traits that we desire for ourselves. He or she will often show us methods or the way to become "like" them through their own life stories and through their example.

Who is your mentor? Here are a few questions to help you find someone to speed you on your way to the life you want to create.

Who is living the life that you want?
Who models for you genuine happiness, a life of community and service, your spiritual values? Who, through the expression of their own life, gives you the confidence that the life you seek can be created and can give you true happiness?
What characteristics do they exhibit that you can emulate?
What methods or training did they get to be who they are today?
What do you admire about them?
What do they have that you desire?

I encourage you to look around at your friends, family, acquaintances, community and spiritual leaders, teachers and elsewhere. Read biographies of people you admire. Listen to their stories and learn. Find your mentor(s) today.