The Giant Reset Button

Sometimes I think of midlife as a giant reset button. It is the time when we begin to question our choices, design and implement new lifestyles and develop a richer inner life. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, the reset button only starts the changes; it doesn't instantly transform our lives.

What if all changes were instantaneous? We'd not be ready thus causing upset and failure, our friends and family would not know what hit them and we wouldn't be allowed to change course if needed if there really were a reset button. Instead we make choices, we often start slowly, and gradually through the months, years or even decades, our new lives take shape. The slower process allows us to experience our choices, and to evolve. The real and only trick is to make a choice and get started, to overcome inertia and fear.

Sometimes we are quite sure we know what we want and why, but this is often because of our situation or conditions. For many years, I dreamed of living in a small cottage out in the country as far away from neighbors as possible, quiet and serene. I was sure that this was my destiny and had absolutely no doubts that this longing was the real me. That somehow, I'd accidentally been born in and lived in a big city. Now, for most of my 20+ years in corporate America I worked very long hours in the computer field. I worked more than half of those years for a space contractor dependent on tight budgets, short deadlines, intense visibility, and life and death situations; all of which contributed to severe stress. No wonder I dreamed of a cottage in the country with no people! After I changed careers to one that I love and where I control both the hours and the amount of stress I'm willing to deal with, the dream of the country cottage vanished. It seems now that I'd be bored in the country. So beware the instant reset!

One thing that may get in the way of our changing our lives is the past. Sometimes we want something new and different, but we haven't saved money or our credit is ruined or our resume is spotty or we owe child support for 15 more years or whatever. All of these are real and can affect the speed and smoothness of our changes, but not the change itself. Credit can be restored, resumes can be polished, money can be saved starting now, and obligations honored by planning. Be creative, step out of the box, ask for help in seeing all of this in a different light. Be open to different paths to the same place. We often get it in our heads that the only way we'll be able to do X is Y. There are a million different ways to achieve X and Y is only one of them.

What do you think of this piece? Please leave a comment.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006