What Are You Settling For?

What are you settling for? What are you just tolerating in your life? How did your expectations for happiness and joy get so diminished? As youngsters, we lived life as if we had a tiger by the tail. We wanted things and we went after them. We fully expected great things to be ours. We thought we could be and do anything. You can see this with a young child: simply ask them what they want to be when they grow up? Even a child in a poor environment with uneducated parents might say "an astronaut" or "a doctor". As we grow older, reality seeps in. We are faced with obstacles and our own limitations.

By the time we are in our thirties or forties, we may have stopped expecting anything more than what we have. We've let ourselves be boxed in, whipped by life and events, seemingly out of our control. Many of us are caretakers, never getting what we need, only meeting others' needs. Some of us lack self-confidence and believe we are not worthy of more. Some of us lack the energy, drive, ambition or time to seek more. Some of us lack assertiveness skills or live with confusion so that important decisions are not made and kept to.

But there is a huge cost to settling for less, for just tolerating what your life has become. There is a cost to your spirit or soul, your life's purpose is not being expressed and this is painful and debilitating even if you aren't aware of it consciously. There is the cost to your energy and vitality. Being boxed in or settling for less drains your energy tremendously. Taking the "easy way out" by staying where you are is not truly the easy way. It is by far the more difficult, just not always real obvious to you.

Here are some questions to help you look for areas where you are settling for less than you deserve:

1. Put a grade on each of the following areas in your life, from 1 to 10, with one being "it sucks" and 10 being "wow, lucky me".
Family
Friends
Home
Career or vocation or business
Health
Community
Finances
Spirituality
Beauty/Body
Hobbies/Interests
Anything that gets below a 7 may be a place where you've settled or are tolerating less than you deserve.

2. If you had only a couple of years to live, what do you regret not doing?

3. If a fairy godmother stepped into your living room today and gave you three wishes that would be instantly granted, what would you ask for?

4. What upsets you on a daily or regular basis? (e.g., mad at your wife?, hate your boss?, wish you had children?, etc.)

5. If you had your life to live over, what would you have done differently?

6. Do you often say to yourself "oh, well, it doesn't matter" or "that's just the way it is"? These are indications you are settling.

7. Do you have trouble knowing what you want to do, saying no, and sticking to your decisions?

Each of your answers gives you food for thought. Where do you think that you are settling for less than you could have (or be)? Are there small steps you can take to begin changing your expections, reaching a little higher, being a little happier?
Take one today.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006