What Do You Really Know?

One of the guidelines I usually give at the beginning of my workshops is to keep an open mind. As soon as we hear ourselves saying "Oh, I already know this" or "That's not true", we have lost our ability and will to learn something new, to hear something said in a different way, and to be "enlightened".

We all go through much of our lives, especially as middle aged adults, believing we already know most of what we need to know. Which is kind of silly when you think of it. Many of us are unhappy, depressed, angry, hate our jobs, dislike our relationships, are estranged from family...and yet we think we already know everything we need to know. Some of us are very tied to the story of "I know" or another way of saying that is "I am superior because I know."

Recently, I was hit over the head with this concept again. I hurt my right shoulder several months ago. After four months, I went to the doctor who xrayed me and said I had a "bone spur". He sent me to a surgeon. Now, about ten years ago, I had a bone spur in my left shoulder and had to have surgery to fix it. I "knew" what was involved. So I arranged my schedule to keep it open for the surgery on my right shoulder. I knew how long the rehab would take and how much discomfort I was in for. I was deeply upset about having to have surgery. I spent about a week spinning around talking about it at every turn, feeling anxious. Then I visit the surgeon who assures me I do not have a bone spur and that no surgery is needed. Of course, I was relieved, but the lesson was not lost. I had just lost a week of emotional equilibrium, even happiness, because "I knew" I was going to have surgery. I had closed my mind completely because "I knew".

I definitely was not living in the moment. I was not experiencing what the Buddhists call beginner's mind. I jumped way ahead looking at my imagined future, sure that I knew what was going to happen, how it was going to affect me, and what the doctor would say. Another way of saying this is I just made it all up. One can say, yes, but you had good reason because of previous experience, but that really doesn't fly. History does not always repeat itself, especially where humans are involved. We all have the chance to make changes, to react differently, to have a different perspective. If I had been living in the moment, experiencing life as it comes, the effect of the whole episode would have been minimal to non-existent. Instead it turned into a drama, something to dread and be unhappy about.

How often do we do this? Make up stories based on false expectations of our future? Or relive false memories of our past? I say false, because our brains are very selective about what we remember and emotions play a big part in how it is remembered. How much of what we experience on any given day is simply not true, not real? The next time, you feel yourself tightening up and the idea of "I know this already" comes to your mind, stop and free yourself. Remind yourself to relax and let go and live here right now. Life is much easier if you can keep a beginner's mind.