Are Happiness and Work Truly Compatible?

This week I had lunch with an old work friend. He's wondering what is next in his life, career-wise and asked how I had come to change careers. As you may know I was in the computer biz for more than twenty years before becoming a coach. I started out as a programmer and ended up my long career as a vice-president (aka CIO) of technology.

It's startling to many, and to me as well, that my workdays are exciting and filled with joy. On the days I teach my workshops, I wake up with the excitement of a little kid on Christmas morning. I can't wait to get there. I'm buzzing, it feels so good. When I'm teaching or coaching, time just stops. I simply do not notice the passing of time and am usually surprised when I look up from writing my newsletter or writing articles and several hours have passed.

What this brought up for me was that while I had heard that when you live your passion, your work time can be exciting, fun, joyous, etc., I didn't truly know what that meant. In my early computer career days, I loved what I was doing. I was a programmer, than a systems analyst, then a project manager, doing highly technical work and really enjoyed it. I liked the company I worked with and totally enjoyed my teammates. Or at least I thought I did!

Afte I found my own life purpose and began living it through my career as a coach and workshop leader, I discovered how weak that happiness so many years ago was compared to what I feel now. It's a huge, life changing difference.

This is the main reason, I have such a thrill and so much passion around my clients' finding their true calling or life purpose and pursuing it. It will make a larger difference in one's daily life than you can currently imagine. The words you hear about it are just a pale version of the real thing.
My old friend is right on the brink of pursuing his passion. He is very clear on what it is. When we spoke, he glowed when he talked about it. His face was filled with light and his body with energy. Now we're going to visualize and imagine what form it can take as a career. He's about to step out and be counted. I hope he is as blown away as I am with how much passion it will bring him.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

What time did you say it is? Huh?

One of the most basic Buddhist thoughts and lessons is that everything is impermanent. Including our time here in this life. This teaching is a part of most traditions and also a big part of the new spirituality taught by many of our gurus, teachers and personal growth authors. Impermanence acts (or at least it is supposed to act) as a motivator. If we don't have all the time we wish, then we better get moving. As the popular saying goes, Life Is Not A Dress Rehearsal.

Here's a short movie about big ideas that I think you're going to enjoy and be inspired by.

http://www.inspirationalentertainment.com/bigideas/

And one more: http://www.inspirationalentertainment.com/1morehr/

Let me know what you think about them.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

The Inner Organizer

I wish I had thought of this concept first! It's a great journal/day planner with lots of spiritual and inspirational quotes and ideas built into the daily planner. It's just what I need to plan and track the kinds of personal growth work I am currently doing. I think you will like it also. Check out Jennifer Louden's site to get more information.


Write Your Way to a Life You Love: Personal Time Management from the Inside Out

And another incredible journal is the 5 Year Journal. It's beautifully formatted and exactly what you need to journal your life, your thoughts and to serve as a legacy for others. You really ought to read Doreene's inspiring story of how she created this beautiful book also.

The 5 Year Journal

I LOVE THESE JOURNALS!!

Shake Things Up

If you feel like you are in a rut or are bored with where you are, then shake things up. It doesn't have to be a big shake-up, like quitting your job or running away with your personal trainer (grin). Small shake-ups can make a very large difference in your daily enjoyment of life. Here are a few suggestions to get the juices flowing again.

• Wake up two hours before your regular time and start your day by doing something you don't usually do, such as watching the sunrise, or walking outdoors, or meditating.
• If it is safe, walk downtown (with a friend or two) or in your neighborhood very late at night. Everything looks different at that hour.
• Eat at a new restaurant and order something you've never tried before.
• Pick an evening during the week and watch TV programs you've never seen. If you are not sure what to watch then do it randomly or ask a friend.
• Call someone you've just met for coffee. If this is hard for you, be brave!
• Read different newspapers (e.g., New York Times or Wall Street Journal) and magazines that you don't normally read.
• Start a new hobby by taking a class listed in your local daily newspaper or at your crafts, music or hobby shop. If you can't decide, flip a coin. After all, it's not forever.
• If you normally wear jeans and a t-shirt, dress up for a day. If you normally wear a suit and tie, dress way down for a day. Wear plaid or red or a scarf if you don't normally do that. Dress like someone else. Note what people say or how they react to you in this new persona.
• Write a song or a poem. Pick a theme, such as a love song or a children's song, then write the words. You can create a tune or use someone else's. Share it with someone.

Or create your own little shake-up. Let me know how it feels to do these things or what you thought of yourself.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

When Time Does Not Equal Money

We've all heard the expression, time is money. In business, there is a certain amount of truth in that. But there is one place where it is not true, although most of us act like it is. It is in our personal relationships. Many of us express our love for our children, our spouse, our parents or other family members by giving gifts or money. Can't spend time with your college age son, buy him a car. Can't spend time with your wife, send her flowers or pay for a day at the spa. Can't spend time with your mother, offer to pay for a cruise for her. While all of these are good things to do, they can never be replacements for time spent with you.

We get so wrapped up in our careers, in our search for health and beauty, in our hobbies or sports, that often we ignore those people that are most important to us. And, again, all of these things can play a strong supporting role in your life. But the lead role is in your relationships, especially with those you love, be it family or friend.

The people that love you, love YOU, not your money. They want to be with you, not with your money. Money can, at best, be only a minor expression of love, never the real thing. The purchased gift you give can only be a dim facsimile of the real thing, and in many cases, means nothing to the person receiving it. Love is best expressed in person by spending time with the person. Spending your time, a very precious commodity indeed, is the most important way to share yourself and your love with someone else. Who needs your love today? Who are you taking for granted? Is there someone you love that you haven't spoken with or visited in days or weeks or months? Commit today to making your love relationships a priority in your life.

You'll be so glad you did.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Bluebonnets and Longhorns in Texas

I'm an absolute nature person. It's a sure-fire way to soothe and relax me. It inspires me in so many ways. However, I'm not a great photographer, so forgive the quality of the pictures. They seem beautiful to me, but that is because I experienced the real thing. These pictures were taken recently.

On the bottom are bluebonnets, the Texas state flower. If you've never been to Texas in the Spring, the state has planted millions of wildflower seeds along highways and in parks. This was taken in Washington on the Brazos state park. Notice the single white bluebonnet in the center.

The one at top is a little pond on my sister-in-law's horse ranch in central Texas. These are two of their longhorn cattle. It was just beautiful when I was there, cool with a little breeze, the water was so calm. They have horses, longhorns, ducks, dogs, cats and kittens and fish in their pond to keep the kids happy and busy. It's a wonderful place and we are so lucky to be able to visit it often.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

The Clutter Continuum

I am a naturally organized person who prefers an uncluttered space. That does not mean, however, that I don't have dust bunnies under my sofa and papers on my desk, the table, well, okay, pretty much everywhere. Clutter is a relative thing. Some people can tolerate a lot more than others, but no matter where you are on the clutter continuum, you probably could use a little decluttering and organization. Most of us can.

Spring is somehow a natural time to do some clearing out of the old to make room for the new. You will feel better, be more relaxed and free up the mental energy that was being drained by the ever-present clutter. If you don't believe this, try it. I am betting that you will actually have more energy and feel better just by cleaning up and clearing it out. Even cleaning out a couple of drawers or a dresser or a closet can significantly improve your energy and mood levels.

Some people feel good tackling major projects such as cleaning out the garage or the attic to start, while others prefer to start small and progress steadily by cleaning out a single drawer a day or a week. Whatever method you use, it helps to have a plan and a deadline, both of which will help to motivate you. Just be sure not to set goals so unreasonable that you get overwhelmed and give up.

If you are ready for some cleaning, clearing and clarity, join me on a free teleclass, Spring Cleaning Fling to be held starting May 2nd. See http://www.lifeunfolds.com/workshops.htm for more information.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Retirement Resources

Since one of the things I do is help people prepare for retirement, I have access to lots of online resources for retirees and early retirees. Here are just a few:

http://early-retirement.org/forums/index.php (A great online discussion forum for early retirees and early retiree wannabes.

http://www.retireearlyhomepage.com/ (Wonderful site with retirement financial calculators, book reviews, top ten lists, early retiree philosophy, etc.)

http://finance.yahoo.com/columnist/archives/headline/retirement/2005 (And my favorite retirement writer, Ken Dychtwald)

From Mid-Life Angst to Mid-Life Adventure

I've recently been working on a tagline for my business and the title of this post is what I've decided on. I also will use "changing mid-life blues into mid-life brilliance" and "make the rest of your life the best of your life". I love all of them. Most of the folks I coach and that attend my workshops are in mid-life, roughly from 35 to 65. And, of course, I fall in there, too.

The tagline boils down what I do into a single statement, turning angst into adventure in the middle of life. Angst is defined in the dictionary as "dread, anxiety or anguish". Some of us in mid-life may not be quite that severe; it may only be boredom, restlessness or unease. Nonetheless, I think the word angst captures where a lot of us end up in mid-life, wherever that falls for you. The most common complaints I hear in my practice are, "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?" or "It's like I woke up one day and said, this can't be all there is!" or "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up".

My approach to mid-life and I hope to make it yours, is to look at mid-life as one big, grand adventure. You have wisdom you didn't have when you were 20 or 30. You have knowledge, especially self-knowledge, you didn't have when you were younger. Many of us are more free than we were before as children move off to high school and college, you find your second or third career, you retire or retire early, and relationships change to meet more of your needs. Even the questioning about your purpose, your relationships, your career, and your true self indicates an awakening. You are waking up from the programming and patterns laid on you by parents, schools, culture and the media. It is like a butterfly breaking free from the cocoon. We wake up, unfurl our wings, test them and soar!

What do you think of my tagline?

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Money Mindset

Here are a few thoughts about how money appears in your life. All are things that you can change and influence. No money? No problem! Start here.

Everyone has a money setpoint. This is the amount of money you have that you feel totally comfortable with. If you have "limiting" beliefs about money, they will hold you back from wealth. If you have clear, true beliefs about money, you will be rolling in it. You formed your beliefs about money from your parents, culture and media and continued to form them through your own experiences. You picked up beliefs such as "I'm no good with money" or "Money is not important to me" or "Money doesn't grow on trees (meaning it's hard to get)" or "Work hard and the money will come", etc. Each of these and many more will serve to limit the amount of wealth you can sustain. When you hear about lottery winners who lost it all within a few short years, this is the principle that makes that happen. You simply can't have more money than your beliefs will support. At least not for very long! So we want to raise that setpoint to more closely match our own desires for wealth.

Stretch and you will receive. Often, even with healthy beliefs about money, we don't allow money to flow in because we are living small lives. We have restricted our self-expression to relatively small, safe areas. It is when we stretch out of that box, move into new arenas, try something new, even bold, that we open up our lives to the abundance that has always been there. Truly this can affect your money flow significantly. So stretch out a bit, see what this opens up for you.

Money is a flow. Money is not static, not meant to be hoarded and not meant to stagnate. It is a flow, a flow just like an energy flow. It comes in and it goes out. You can probably see that in your own life. Some of us have more in than out, some more out than in (probably most people) and some just enough flows in and just enough flows out. Each of these flows represents where we are consciously or subconsciously with money. If money is held tightly, one hoards, is stingy, and the flow in and out is blocked. If money flows out so that it exceeds that which comes in, it starts the debt/fear cycle which further restricts or blocks the incoming flow. I like to think of this like a river. The river is flowing with money instead of water. You may have a tank that draws and stores money from the river of money, but it doesn't impede the flow or lessen the output in any significant way. So the money coming in is more than ample for your needs and desires. The tank is your working money (investing, charitables, etc.) or savings for large desireables. The river below this tank (outgoing) is the money you spend or donate.

Money is what you think it is. If you think of a normal river with water, the volume in gallons of water is huge! Because of the way the natural world works, there is always more water coming in and flowing out (if left alone!). All of this is available to you. The river of money has more money than you could possibly spend and is available to you for the taking. But often we perceive that there is a very limited supply of money for which we must compete. We feel there is not enough to go around. Some of us think (guiltily) that if we get a lot, someone else will have to do with only a little. So in our river example, you'd be looking at a small creek instead of a large river. But if you perceive that there truly are oceans and oceans of money available, essentially an unlimited supply, then it frees you to receive in the most miraculous way. Practice thinking of money as a huge river flowing your way.

for more about how to improve your money outlook, see my workshop "ATTRACT MONEY NOW!" at http://lifeunfolds.com/attractmoneynow.htm

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Funny Money Film

Here's a short clip from Saturday Night Live that is pretty funny. Can you relate?

http://www.milkandcookies.com/article/3267/

Let me know what you think about it.

Who Are You Really?

Who are you really? What makes you the unique you that you are? What is deep inside you that you haven't yet expressed? I believe that living an authentic life, being the real you, having congruency between what you say and do and who you really are is the key to happiness. I also believe that you can't have true and lasting happiness until you become who you truly are. The more you express YOU, the happier you will be.

So many of us don't know the real person that lives inside and yearns to be set free. We typically start out our lives being and doing what our parents want us to be. We add additional ideas and modes of behavior from our teachers, our peers, our extended families, our culture, the media, our churches and other signficant or authority figures. For most of us, it isn't until adulthood and often middle age and beyond that we start to break free from these constraints. It is when we ask questions, we notice our feelings and ideas and become self-aware that we begin to ask important questions about who we are, our place in the universe, our purpose and what will make us happy.

Happiness is a universal longing for all humans. Most of the actions we take, the talk we share and the motivations we have are all in the name of happiness or feeling better.

It continues to amaze me that here I am, well into mid-life, that I still don't know all the ins and outs of me, the person I have spent the most time with in my life. How is it that I do not thoroughly know myself? You'd think by this time, I would know every last atom of myself. I am lucky (or was it courageous?!) that I have done a great deal of personal growth work over the last 35 years and feel like I know a lot about myself. Even so, there are still areas of my life that cause me discomfort and stress. Things I am still working out. Things I still want to explore.

Exploration questions you may want to try.

1. List five accomplishments of your life that YOU are most proud of.
2. What traits of yours contributed most to these accomplishments?
3. What was the last thing you did that surprised you?
4. Do you still have secrets which need to be brought out into the light of day? What would need to happen for this to occur?
5. What are your strongest, most prevalent traits?
6. Describe yourself in ten words. Describe yourself by writing one page about yourself.
7. What traits did you pick up from your Father? What traits did you pick up from you Mother?
8. What traits need development or no longer serve you?
9. If you could share three life lessons with the world, with your own children or grandchildren, what would they be?
10. What's the one thing in life you want more of?

Did you gain any insight from these questions? What was it? Are there actions you are ready and willing to take to express more of who you really are?

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Actions Talk

My current goals workshop (Quantum Goal Setting) has built in action steps for the participants. I ask that students take a minimum of five actions per day on each of their goals. There is always some consternation about that because we all live already busy lives. It got me to thinking about how important our actions are. Not necessarily in and of themselves, but as a way to speak our desires.

Often we say we want something, let's say we want to spend more time with our significant other. We may strongly intend it, write an affirmation or two and write it in our journal. But then someone asks us to work overtime. We say yes because we need the money and our boss will be impressed. Then someone else asks if we would volunteer to participate in a charity walk. We say yes because it is a good cause and we need the exercise. And, of course, we believe that we must spend lots of quality time with our children, because that's what good parents do and we want the best for our kids. So we take our kids to school, pick them up, do homework with them, supervise play dates and lots more. So then our significant other says let's take a weekend just for ourselves, go away for a couple of days. And you say, No, I'm too busy, I made a commitment to walk in a charity event and the kids have scouts this weekend.

Doesn't make sense does it given what we said we wanted. But I see this in my coaching practice frequently. What are our actions saying to us, those around us and to the Universe about what we want. We said with words what we wanted, but our actions are saying something very different! After all, actions are where we focus our time and energy.

Several things are happening in this scenario. First, we need to ask is the intent real and clear and truly desired or is it just a passing thought? Maybe it is even an "I should want" rather than a "I really do want". We need to check to see what kind of energy and feeling are underlying the desire. Second, we often use the reasoning that if something has benefits or is "good" then we must do it. A charity walk (good cause), overtime (money, good will), spending time with a friend, helping a neighbor, etc. We can rationalize almost anything into a commitment of our time and energy, often sending our true desires and goals off-track. It is a guarantee that in this lifetime you will have to make choices. There will not be enough time and energy to do everything you think you want.

But what happened to our desire to spend time with our significant other? When presented with an opportunity to fulfill that desire, we went off track because we had overextended our time and energy. We also may not have mentally connected this "opportunity" with our true desire. We might have been distracted when the SO asked for the weekend. Or we may have suspected some hidden agenda, but didn't ask questions to figure it out.

All this points to some tips about how to get more from our lives.
1. know what you want as clearly as possible
2. take action to get what you want, any action is better than no action and inspired action (from intuition or clues from the Universe) is much better than action derived from the "head", our actions are another way of telling the Universe what we truly desire
3. focus on and pay attention to your goals and desires, spending time with them each day
4. try to slow down enough for reflection, self-awareness via thoughts and feelings, and to truly listen
4. listen carefully for opportunities that knock on your door
5. say yes and take action

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006

Say Yes!

This has been a week of synchronistic messages for me. I had lunch with a wonderful friend and mentor. She told me about a couple of new perfect opportunities that had been gifted to her. Instead of dithering and analyzing, she said YES to both! Her reasoning was that if she said yes, even if a little scared, she would be giving the Universe her own request and would have plenty of time and resources for it to play out as it would. If, for some reason, it didn't work out, she had lost nothing.

If presented with the same offers she had, I would have stalled or said No right up front. Primarily because I couldn't see an immediate way for it all to work out, thus not trusting in divine inteligence to play it out for me.

So practice saying Yes, Yes to Life, Yes to Opportunities, Yes to your Desires! Right after my lunch with her, I was asked to lead guided meditations as part of a collaborative workshop. Instead of dithering or stalling or over-analyzing, I said Yes! If I had said No, I would have been telling the Universe, don't send me any more opportunities like this one. And yet I want my business to grow, I love teaching, and improving my collaboration skills and opportunities is one of my current business goals. This one request met all of these!

What are you saying to the opportunities and open doors the Universe is giving you? Are you dithering, analyzing, stalling or fearful? Just bypass these and say Yes! Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.

All blog content is copyrighted, all rights reserved, Mary Anne Fields and Life Unfolds, 2006