Wanting What You Have

We are often told to feel and express gratitude as a way of being happier and a way of practicing the law of attraction. The law of attraction simply says that what you think and feel is what you get. So it follows that if you are feeling grateful for something you have or something you have experienced, then your thoughts and feelings are positive ones of appreciation, which then create more of the same in your life. For example, if you are very grateful for a loving, kind friend, it sets you up to receive more loving kindness. If you are grateful for the money you have, it sets you up energetically with the Universe to receive more and to have plenty of money. The thoughts and feelings of gratitude are the key to this, not the things you received themselves.

So how does this gratitude thing work? First, when you are feeling gratitude, then you NOT feeling anger, resentment, sadness, or angst of any kind. You are feeling and thinking positive thoughts and feelings. So when you are not feeling the negative emotions, you must be ... happy! Okay, gratitude may not equate to happiness for you, but it is positive. Second, gratitude is one of the highest (most positive) emotions vibrationally that you can have. You've gone straight to a home run, rather than lingering on first base. Third, it is the very opposite of wanting, grasping, feeling lack, needing, feeling greedy, etc. When you feel gratitude, you know in your deepest heart that you have what you want and need and you recognize it through your gratitude.

So how does one generate gratitude? For some of us it comes naturally. Maybe we've been trained that way or maybe it's our nature. But all of us can feel and express gratitude. If it doesn't come naturally, then practice it. I suggest writing out your "gratitudes" each day. At first they may not flow freely. But with practice, they come to mind more easily and you will find that some of the things you "think" you are grateful for, actually generate the emotion of "gratitude". For example, on my list might be "I'm grateful for a steady supply of electricity so that I can write this newsletter, that my husband makes smoothies each morning and serves them to me in a tall glass, that I have a top notch computer, that one of my grandchildren is able to visit me often, and so on." Now some of these do not elicit much emotion, they are just thoughts. For example, the gratitude for electricity was a thought, but didn't change my emotions; however, the longer I thought about it and what it would mean to do without electricity, to be in the dark, to not have all the tools we use daily (refrigerator, computer, phone, lights), the more grateful I become for it. The thoughts generated the emotion. The thought about my grandson generates an immediate emotion of gratitude. So from these examples, you can see that some gratitudes you may have to play with a bit to actually feel the gratitude. The important thing to remember is that we must FEEL the gratitude not just think it. It is the feeling of appreciation that is the key to feeling happier and to having more of what we really want.

Play, Practice, Persist

Many of us are making changes in our lives. We use the law of attraction. We may be changing our health habits, creating wealth, developing better relationships and generally trying to be happier. But do you experience the same thing that I do when trying to make change?

It seems to come and go in fits and starts. Some of us start new habits or changes, but quit too soon. Some of us fail to create any momentum because we are distracted too often. Some of us are not motivated enough, that is, there's no real energy behind our desire to change. Some of us just think about change, but fail to take action.

So here's an idea to help: Persist, Practice and Play.

I've found that when I change my language to say, "I am going to play with this (new habit, new idea, new change)" it is much easier to stay engaged. When I say "I'm working on this", it has a heavier feel to it and is harder to stay with it. If you are playing with something, it is much easier to feel happier about it, and using the law of attraction intentionally requires positive feelings. Playing at something feels more energetic, more lighthearted, and as if there are no huge judgements about your performance waiting on the other end.

I've also found that practicing helps. I no longer expect perfection from my efforts. I assume I will need to practice whatever I'm attempting, whether it is changing my health patterns, developing relationships, or being happier. Practicing means you actually spend time doing whatever it is you've decided to do. Practicing means time and energy are focused on the change. Practicing also has a lighter feel to it, just as play does. If you are practicing something, there is much less judgement around the whole event. So what if you are not perfect yet, after all, you are practicing! Want to be healthier? Practice eating healthy and exercising. Want to have a quieter mind, be clearer, and be happier? Practice meditating. Want more wealth? Practice being wealthy (do what a wealthy person would do).

And most of all, persist. Don't give up the first time you drop the ball. Don't give up if you're not doing it perfectly. Don't give up if you're not making fast progress. Persist, practice, play.

A Blank Slate

What if you had a blank slate for your life, right now in this moment? At one time, at birth, we did have a blank slate. Unfortunately, we were not the only ones writing on the slate. Our parents, churches, schools, friends and cultural communities all helped us to fill up the slate. The result? What we are living right now! Our life slate is filled with the good and the bad, the daily activities, the viewpoints and feelings and the people, places and things that we experience in each moment of our lives.

Can you imagine your life as a blank slate? Without all the problems, perceived limitations, and pressures? Without current obligations, duties and stress?

Sit down in a comfortable place where you won't be disturbed for at least half an hour. A couple of hours is even better. Imagine the blank slate. If your own life keeps intruding, mentally erase the images until you have a blank slate. Don't spend a lot of time here, because the result is in imagining the new, not spending time and energy on the old. Give yourself permission at the outset to be relaxed and playful with this contemplation. Allow yourself to really stretch your imagination.

Fill the slate with what you'd like your life to be like. Include the satisfying people, places and things you have now, and add the elements you desire. Or start completely new. The slate can be large and include your entire life or lifestyle or can be small and focus on a single element in your life. For example, you may focus on your career or job, or your relationships, or your financial situation.

Include people, places and things, but also include feelings, perceptions, world-views, and ambience or environment. For example, imagine yourself being even more patient or generous or kind. You might imagine you are more sophisticated or courageous or powerful that you perceive yourself now. You may include only people who respect and love you. Include smells, and visual and auditory and sensual aspects as well. After all, it is you imagining it and it can be anything you desire.

When judging thoughts intrude, such as "you can't have that" or "you don't really want to be rid of him, after all how would you live?" or "you're way too old to do that", just put them in a bubble and allow them to gently float away. If that doesn't work, remind yourself that you are simply playing with images in your mind and you are allowed to do anything you wish in that space. Simply ignore any other thoughts.

You'll know you are on the right track in your imaginings when you feel happy and excited. Keep playing with the images and sounds until you have what you desire.

When you are ready to complete the meditation, simply say to yourself, "I now have all of this and more."

I like to do this exercise every day for a few minutes. I just close my eyes and playfully allow vignettes to entertain me for a few minutes. One day my focus may be me hiking in a beautiful mountain setting. Another day it might be me looking at my bank balance and being overjoyed. Another day, I might focus on being with girlfriends in a spa, having a lot of fun and enjoying the friendship. The picture variety is endless, limited only by your own imagination.

The more you do this exercise, the more energy and focus you are giving your dreams. It is a fun way to practice bringing more of what you desire into your life. I'm betting that you will be amazed at what comes your way simply on the basis of this exercise, practiced daily.

After all, your life really is a blank slate. Everything you are experiencing today was caused by what you desired, and what you did in the past. Everything you are thinking and feeling today, every action you take is setting up your future. So spend more time thinking and feeling what you really want and see what happens.

The Flood and the Flow

In one of my recent workshops, we were discussing how to know when you are working with the law of attraction and how to know when you're not. One of the students mentioned that she describes it as the flood and the flow. The flood is when she has a constant barrage of negative thoughts, very much like a flood. She worries, frets, is anxious and down. The flow is when she knows in her body that all is well, that what she desires is on its way and that she is in alignment with what she desires most. She feels peaceful, happy and in anticipation.

The law of attraction works whether we know about it and consciously try to influence it or not. Our thoughts and feelings will affect what shows up in our lives, consciously or unconsciously. When we are practicing being in the flow, we become more aligned with our highest good, with our truest desires. We practice having more positive thoughts which affect our feelings. We practice letting go of the how and watching for clues from the Universe. We work on or play with changing our limiting beliefs.

How do you know what what you are doing is working? How do you know you are in the flow?

First, to tell whether you have been having primarily positive thoughts and feelings without limiting beliefs and that you have let go of the how, just look around you. Do you have the life you wish? Do you have plenty of money? Do you have sustaining and rich relationships? Do you have passionate pursuits? Is your career satisfying and meaningful to you? Your current life situation exactly mirrors your past thoughts and feelings. Sometimes this past pattern of thoughts and feelings is many years long. It takes time to change that habit of thought. Be patient with yourself and don't give up too soon.

Are the things you desire starting to show up? Maybe small events occur, the right phone call, or money comes in the mail, or you meet someone new who can help you further your career. Are synchronicities occuring? If so, then your recent past thoughts and feelings are moving in the right direction and having a direct effect on your life.

Many of us can feel the difference between the flood and the flow in our bodies. It is an actual physical feeling. When I am in the flow I can sense the energy flowing or moving in my body, usually from abdomen to chest in an upward motion. I feel lighter and happier. when I am not in the flow (or in the flood), my chest is closed or tight, I tend to be in my head and generally more tense. If you are not aware of any physical feelings, start noticing each day what your thoughts and feelings are and then what your body feels like. Are there any clues to tell you when you are in the flow or in the flood?

The Incredible Power of Communication in Attracting What You Desire

Communication, the exchanging of information, ideas, feelings, beliefs and values are a vital part of living the law of attraction. Communication openly expresses and validates the positive thoughts and feelings you are aiming for in LOA.

The next time you are out with a few of your friends or with your family, really notice the conversations going on. Most of the time we talk about the past, or the future. Less often, we talk about what is going on with us right now. Either way, we often talk habitually. That is we express ourselves in a certain style: gossipy, seriously, poking fun, sarcastically, dramatically, complaining and so on. Mostly, the communication can be thought of as positive or negative. The communication represents our thoughts and feelings (most of the time). The communication focuses on positive thoughts and feelings, or focuses on negative thoughts and feelings.

Language is very important in communication. What words you choose to express your thoughts and feelings can actually change your thoughts and feelings. Let me give you an example. I used to have a friend who loved to gossip, usually maliciously, about others. I often had lunch with her where we both worked. I would be feeling happy and relaxed when I went to lunch, but after a few minutes of tearing down other folks, I would feel uneasy, anxious and guilty. My thoughts when gossiping about others in a negative way changed my feelings.

Thoughts and feelings and the consequent verbal expression about the past often tend to be negative. We look back at when we were hurt or neglected, at past wrongs, either our own or someone else’s towards us. Unless you are thinking about beautiful, happy memories, your past thoughts can hold you back from what you want to create, your dreams.

When we look at and talk about the future, it often is filled with fear and apprehension. Some of us are very optimistic about the future so it will take the form of positive anticipation.

We’ve all heard the expression, be here now. The present time, right now, is the only place your innate creativity and joy can come into play. You can do nothing about the past and the future is not here yet. As Eckhart Tolle would say, all your power is in the now. Your power to create and live your dreams. The more we stay in the present, think and feel in the present and communicate in the present, intentionally in a positive way, the better the outcome.

Exercise 1
For the rest of the week, pay close attention to the conversations in which you participate.

• Are they focused on the past?


• On the future?


• What is the primary feeling being expressed?


• Do some people tend to be more or less positive or negative?


• What is your habitual talking pattern (if any)?

Identify the ten people you communicate with most often. Can you generally identify their communication style as positive or negative? Notice where these conversations tend to go. How do you feel after communicating with each for any length of time? Better or worse?

Notice your own speech patterns. Are they full of lack or full of abundance? Do they tend toward complaining about or appreciating the past, present or future? Do you find fault with others and the environment? Do you focus on issues and problems or the miracles that happen every moment?

Record at least one conversation with someone else. When you listen to the recording, notice how often you fall back into negative expression or how often you stay in the now with positive communication. Is your communication where you want it? Is it in line with your intentions of creating your dreams?

What we really want to communicate is positive thoughts and feelings about the past, present and future. We want to intentionally focus on what we are desiring our future life to be, the positive aspects of the present and only the positive aspects of the past, those moments when you were happiest.

Exercise 2
You should be more aware of how you are communicating with others based on previous exercises. You may be able to recognize when the conversation is negative. Set your intention right now, today, to have more positive communication with others. Recognize your ability to influence the conversation. Choose not to participate in negative conversations. Change the subject to something more positive and persist. This may take some practice and some folks may never get on board. But you can control your own part of the conversation. Refuse to go down the negative path.

Talk (only) about what is going well in your life. Include generous doses of what you want to have, do or be. Include your positive intentions. Every time you notice you’ve wandered off onto the negative (lack, complaining, anxious) path, gently steer yourself back. Take a deep breath and deliberately move back onto the positive conversational path. Smile and remain focused on all the good that is happening and will happen in your life. Give yourself a pat on the back for being willing to change.


Copyright 2007, Mary Anne Fields, LifeUnfolds.com

What If

We all play the what-if game and some of us play it often. Worrying often takes the form of what if: "What if he leaves me?", "What if I get fired?", "What if my home doesn't sell?", "What if the doctor gives me bad news?". We can what if ourselves into a frenzy, adding anxiety after anxiety until we can only see bad news on the horizon.

I was recently conversing with a group of intelligent, talented, courageous women. One of them is contemplating a divorce. The conversation went something like this: "I just don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so unhappy. I know I don't love him anymore. But what if I am poor for the rest of my life? What if the girls (daughters) are scarred for life? What if I can't support us?" and so on. I countered with "what if you are incredibly happy after you leave, what if this is the best thing you could do for yourself and your children, what if you found you had plenty of money and could make it yourself, what if you were in a relationship where you were valued and appreciated, loved and respected?" She blinked a couple of times and slowly said, "Well, I guess that could happen." And then she smiled.

Somehow we think that worrying in this way, imagining negative futures, is a way of coming to a decision. We don't call it worrying, we call it logically thinking through a decision. We believe we are rationally reviewing options.

It's a funny thing, the games our minds play. What ifs most often take a negative form. They tend to scare us into behaving or scare us into staying the course. They often catastrophize our futures with the absolute worst that can happen. We rarely what if with the best that can happen.

So let's play a game. Let's call it What If - Positive.

Start right now with a problem that you are trying to solve or a decision you have to make. It can be small or large, trivial or important. But one where you are having trouble moving forward. Now play what if by imagining all the wonderful things that can happen if you move forward, if you decide or if you solve the problem. What if you were happier beyond your wildest dreams? What if everything turned out better than you expect? What if you were absolutely making the right decision? What if everything you want to happen just falls into place easily and quickly? What if all parties ended up better off than before? What if this was the perfect thing for you to do, right now? Of course, you'll want to make it specific to your situation, but play with it. Run wild and free in your imagination. Insist and intend that positive things will happen. See what happens in your body? In your mind?

The more you play this game, the more natural it will seem and the more often you will choose the positive what ifs rather than the usual negative what ifs. Practice it daily and see how much easier decisions are and how much better you feel.

Do You Believe in the Law of Attraction?

What level of belief do you have in the law of attraction, that is, your ability to attract into your life, through your thoughts, emotions and informed actions, what you most desire? Most of us have had an experience of synchronicity where something shows up just when we need it or just the way we wanted it to. Many of us have had the experience of desiring something strongly and then having it happen just like we imagined. But we often don't generalize that into a strongly held belief.

The law of attraction works, but just I saying that it is true, doesn't necessarily mean you believe it. The thing is, if I asked you to look at your current thoughts and feelings and your current life, I bet they are a match. This is a kind of proof of the law of attraction working in yhour life. For example, if you are worried about money, feeling desperate about bills, feeling anxious and looking at how little you have, this is most likely mirrored by a lack of money in your life. Now, you probably will say, yes, but because I am out of money, I feel those things. I propose that it is the opposite. Because you feel those things, you lack money. The tricky thing is you don't believe that your present reality was brought into being by your thoughts and feelings.

I propose that you give the law of attraction the benefit of the doubt. Choose something you want, start practicing changing your thoughts and feelings to positive, energizing ones, and notice what happens. Stay open to the possibility that this will bring you what you want. Allow it into your life.

Keep a manifestation log; a diary of what you desire, how you are doing at keeping your thoughts and feelings positive, how you are doing at noticing signs from the Universe or God that you are to take action, and how open you are to receiving what you asked for. Keep a daily record of what is occuring around this one desire. As you practice, you will find that your success rate goes up. As you manifest each new desire, your confidence in this process will go up. Try it for 30 days and see what happens. Let me know.